too much jumbled mess.

There's so much going on in my head these days that I feel like it'll explode. For one thing, I'm still homeless in Waterloo so that's always on the back of my mind and requiring attention and action. Things at work have also been more hectic this week, with more drama going on and longer de-briefing periods after work. Finding out more things that I wish weren't true, things I wish didn't happen in the world. A lot of emotion, a lot of surprises... good ones and bad ones. I don't know what to do with it all, where to put it. It almost made me want to attempt to be poetic, but I'm sure it'd just turn out really Vogon.
I used to hate the fact that as people, we're unable to change other people. I hate that there's so much injustice out there, and so much fear, and we can't do anything. We can't make people stop dealing, or pimping, or beating their kids. We can only watch from the sidelines and tell them to stop.
Slowly I think I'm starting to see the beauty in the fact that we can help people to change. We walk alongside them and help them to see options. We tell them that they don't need to deal or pimp or beat their kids. We show them there are choices and better ways.
It's simple, it's easy, and it's beautiful. It is a chocolate banana muffin, that brings a glimmer of excitement to a newly pregnant girl's eyes. It is a printed-out flyer about a George Brown site visit, that renews hope in a long-time user and re-ignites his ambition to finish high school. It is a mouthful of broken French, that warms a boy, recently moved from Montreal, with familiarity.
There's so much hurt out there still, and hearts still broken. And as much as we'd like to help everybody out there, we just can't. But "surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save" (Is. 59:1). All we can do is partner with Him in His work. But ultimately, it's all His.

Today was a good night to just be in at home and get some rest. Brenda went to softball practice and then out for supper with her team, and my parents drove my grandparents to the airport later in the evening, so I had time to just be alone. I'm trying to work on the solitude and silence thing, and not spend so much time in front of the computer or playing my DS. I've been pretty good about cutting back the TV; I only watch Canada's Next Top Model, which is going to be over after next week! Mom gave me her yoga mat from an exercise set that Bren and I got her for Christmas last year, and I've also been trying to work on stretches, but I've got to be more careful or I'm gonna hurt myself. Tomorrow there's a BBQ for the youth so I have to work late, and then I'm meeting Maggers and Monicar at Boston Pizza.