I am... tired. But also really pumped from this weekend - my first time participating in CCSA playoffs since 2004. I'm sad we didn't win, but at peace with and very proud of how far we've come this season. I'm relieved that I didn't make a big mess of being governor, and was diligent in preparing devotions. I'm in shock that the season, the summer, is over. I'm still making moving arrangements. I'm nervous about starting a new program and living in a new place in September. I'm seeing the world through a different lens, only for a night.
I am... taking a trip tomorrow with some lovely ladies from work, just to say so long and farewell, before we go our separate ways for the school year. I'm so blessed to have met them and worked with them this summer.
I am... unpacking my softball gear from my duffel bag. I'm shaking out the dust and twigs. I'm going to fill it with my clothes and personal effects for the cottage. I'm waiting for pictures from our games to arrive in my inbox or on Facebook. I'm excited to share my battle stories with my girlfriends tomorrow, and sit by the lake reminiscing about this amazing summer.
I am... a Capstone.
I am going to bed.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Re: motives
Today Pastor Raymond made a point in his sermon that challenged what I said in my previous post about not really being able to do bad when you're doing good by having wrong motives. He said, basically, that motive is everything... which is like, the total opposite of what I had thought.
Anyway, on further reflection, I think he is right when it comes to doctriney-theology-stuff. I was flipping through Matthew and reached the part in Chaper 5 about adultery, where Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." In that way, a man who even thinks about a woman lustfully, without even doing anything to express this, is already guilty of lust. So it's pretty clear that God looks at the heart, and the reason for what we do. The way that we approach Him in worship matters.
On a human relational level, I felt that motive matters less. Does it matter whether somebody helps me because they're trying to be kind, or because they think I'm an idiot? Is it important if somebody donated to charity out of good will or out of their own self-seeking aim for glory?
But using the... err... transitive.. property? (I certainly hope, but somehow doubt, that I'm applying this properly.) If our heart matters in the way we worship God... and... everything we do should be an act of worship... I guess motives matter in everything that we do.
So, to amend my statement, I will just leave it at that we are not in a place to judge other people's motives for doing things (such as the two hypothetical dilemmas I posed), but we should have our hearts in the right place when we ... do things.
...I am way too tired to write.
Anyway, on further reflection, I think he is right when it comes to doctriney-theology-stuff. I was flipping through Matthew and reached the part in Chaper 5 about adultery, where Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." In that way, a man who even thinks about a woman lustfully, without even doing anything to express this, is already guilty of lust. So it's pretty clear that God looks at the heart, and the reason for what we do. The way that we approach Him in worship matters.
On a human relational level, I felt that motive matters less. Does it matter whether somebody helps me because they're trying to be kind, or because they think I'm an idiot? Is it important if somebody donated to charity out of good will or out of their own self-seeking aim for glory?
But using the... err... transitive.. property? (I certainly hope, but somehow doubt, that I'm applying this properly.) If our heart matters in the way we worship God... and... everything we do should be an act of worship... I guess motives matter in everything that we do.
So, to amend my statement, I will just leave it at that we are not in a place to judge other people's motives for doing things (such as the two hypothetical dilemmas I posed), but we should have our hearts in the right place when we ... do things.
...I am way too tired to write.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Good and evil.
"There absolutely can be evils acts. And there are evil or bad acts that can be committed by good people. We see that all the time. I see all these wrongful convictions, and I see all these people who have power, whether they are police or prosecutors, who really believe that they are good people, who have the authority and who begin to believe that if they decide somebody is guilty or has done something wrong, they are so righteous themselves and have done so much good in the world and avenged so much evil that their actions can't be questioned. And even more than that - that it's okay for them to bury exculpatory evidence, or to take shortcuts, to not follow fair process, to not even consider that they might be wrong because they are so good. Those people with that kind of self-righteousness very often commit acts of evil. And by evil I mean not just being wrong but doing things that are malicious. Gratuitously nasty.
"I look at evil acts, acts of malice, as opposed to a notion of evil as a force, as if there's something inside of people that inexorably leads them to take malicious, horrible, hurtful actions. There may very well be. I think that's an important distinction, because I see people all the time who, by an definition, describe themselves as good, and maybe in many other aspects of their lives you would not take issue with anything they do. They're good servants of the community, they're good to members of their family, they are, in many instances, very religious in the best of ways - kindness and charity and giving and good acts towards others - and almost because of their self-righteous belief that anything they do is good, they do evil."
-Barry Scheck, Attorney, in an interview with Cathleen Falsani, February 2005; from The God Factor
I won't lie: I think I'm a good person. I like to think I'm average or above-average in most categories, with the exception of height. I'm not really sure what I'm basing my judgments on, though, because I know for fact that I also do bad things. I don't know if I'd call them evil... but I guess that is, again, because I consider myself good - perhaps too good to be evil.
The words spoken by Scheck struck a chord within me as I was reading them today, emphasizing two things for me: that the distinction between a person and a person's actions is something we need to, but often forget to make; and that bad things - maybe even evil things - happen when people assume themselves to be good.
Through the psych courses I took at school, I learned all about the power of situation in determining people's actions and reactions, but also how people are the sum of their habits or actions or something. Even though I had a lot of theoretical knowledge about social psychology, it was still a struggle to learn to separate who people are from the things that they do. Personally I find it makes more sense only going one way: people who do bad things may not automatically be bad people, but how can people who do good things not be good people? I guess people can do good things for wrong motives, but I don't think it makes them bad, because they still did good. I actually wonder if there is such thing as a wrong motive for doing good.
That being said, I suppose it's how people arrive at the conclusion that they're good: because they do good things - for their family, their community, etc. But in order to arrive at said conclusion, people usually have to ignore all the bad stuff they did do. That's easily done by compartmentalizing our life, or placing less importance on the area what we're weak in. And especially if bad things are done in secret, nobody has to know, nobody gets hurt, and we can still see ourselves as good people.
When we start feeling too good about ourselves, our pride consumes us and we inevitably do bad, whether to ourselves or to others. When I thought I had everything under control and thought I was too smart to ask people for advice, I ended up doing and putting up with a lot of stuff I wish I hadn't. When we start taking emphasizing our own importance and worth over others', we damage relationships with coworkers, with friends and with family.
Nowadays people are expected to have a healthy dose of self-confidence. We learn to sell ourselves in job or school interviews, to impress friends or parents or [future] in-laws, and so on. It is so hard to reconcile that notion with the fact that Jesus, God incarnate, who died for the sins of the world, never assumed himself to be anything greater than a servant. In light of that... Who am I to assume myself to be anything great at all?
Lyrics from a song by Watermark pop into my head now: "Who am I, that You would love me so gently? Who am I, that You would recognize my name? Lord, who am I, that You would speak to me so softly? Conversation with the Love most high... Who am I?"
I wrote in the cover letter of my job application to Evergreen that one thing I wanted to learn more about through working there, was humility. Clearly that is a journey that will stretch for far longer than a summer.
"I look at evil acts, acts of malice, as opposed to a notion of evil as a force, as if there's something inside of people that inexorably leads them to take malicious, horrible, hurtful actions. There may very well be. I think that's an important distinction, because I see people all the time who, by an definition, describe themselves as good, and maybe in many other aspects of their lives you would not take issue with anything they do. They're good servants of the community, they're good to members of their family, they are, in many instances, very religious in the best of ways - kindness and charity and giving and good acts towards others - and almost because of their self-righteous belief that anything they do is good, they do evil."
-Barry Scheck, Attorney, in an interview with Cathleen Falsani, February 2005; from The God Factor
I won't lie: I think I'm a good person. I like to think I'm average or above-average in most categories, with the exception of height. I'm not really sure what I'm basing my judgments on, though, because I know for fact that I also do bad things. I don't know if I'd call them evil... but I guess that is, again, because I consider myself good - perhaps too good to be evil.
The words spoken by Scheck struck a chord within me as I was reading them today, emphasizing two things for me: that the distinction between a person and a person's actions is something we need to, but often forget to make; and that bad things - maybe even evil things - happen when people assume themselves to be good.
Through the psych courses I took at school, I learned all about the power of situation in determining people's actions and reactions, but also how people are the sum of their habits or actions or something. Even though I had a lot of theoretical knowledge about social psychology, it was still a struggle to learn to separate who people are from the things that they do. Personally I find it makes more sense only going one way: people who do bad things may not automatically be bad people, but how can people who do good things not be good people? I guess people can do good things for wrong motives, but I don't think it makes them bad, because they still did good. I actually wonder if there is such thing as a wrong motive for doing good.
That being said, I suppose it's how people arrive at the conclusion that they're good: because they do good things - for their family, their community, etc. But in order to arrive at said conclusion, people usually have to ignore all the bad stuff they did do. That's easily done by compartmentalizing our life, or placing less importance on the area what we're weak in. And especially if bad things are done in secret, nobody has to know, nobody gets hurt, and we can still see ourselves as good people.
When we start feeling too good about ourselves, our pride consumes us and we inevitably do bad, whether to ourselves or to others. When I thought I had everything under control and thought I was too smart to ask people for advice, I ended up doing and putting up with a lot of stuff I wish I hadn't. When we start taking emphasizing our own importance and worth over others', we damage relationships with coworkers, with friends and with family.
Nowadays people are expected to have a healthy dose of self-confidence. We learn to sell ourselves in job or school interviews, to impress friends or parents or [future] in-laws, and so on. It is so hard to reconcile that notion with the fact that Jesus, God incarnate, who died for the sins of the world, never assumed himself to be anything greater than a servant. In light of that... Who am I to assume myself to be anything great at all?
Lyrics from a song by Watermark pop into my head now: "Who am I, that You would love me so gently? Who am I, that You would recognize my name? Lord, who am I, that You would speak to me so softly? Conversation with the Love most high... Who am I?"
I wrote in the cover letter of my job application to Evergreen that one thing I wanted to learn more about through working there, was humility. Clearly that is a journey that will stretch for far longer than a summer.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
East meets West.
"There is something about the egoism of this particular part of the world that has everything to do with the cross and how that all manifests itself out. I think there is a reason they're not obsessed with the cross that much on the Eastern side of the planet, because they have more of a group consciousness. And when you have a solo consciousness, like a lot of Westerners do, it is really about being on the cross. You're the one putting yourself up there. And I think the whole point is to try to figure out how to get off the f---ing cross."
- Billy Corgan
In my life I often feel like I'm standing at a crossroads where independent Western culture meets traditional, interdependent Chinese values. I just found it interesting that Billy Corgan mentioned the way culture influences spirituality, which I hadn't really stopped to think about before. Being raised in the West, in Canada, in Toronto - where multiculturalism is freely celebrated - I think my values encompass a decent and dynamic balance of capitalism and socialism. When it comes to my faith though, I think I really do have a 'solo consciousness'. I get fixated on blemishes and guilt in my past; I try to discern my own spiritual gifts so I can serve most effectively; I read books and do devotions to establish my own position on issues that I think matter. Somewhere along the way, the importance of church and community diminished. I do think that going to church and having a network of support are valuable, but again, mostly for my own benefit: I go to church to have my mind broadened with others' opinions and knowledge, and I seek fellowship for companionship and encouragement.
The story of Achan is one that has always stuck with me, perhaps because I wrestle with the idea of fairness, that everyone should suffer for the wrongdoing of one person. Back in Old Testament times, if one person messed up, the whole tribe or even the whole nation would face something terrible - loss in a war, natural disaster, famine, or the like. It emphasizes a sort of unity within a family or group that is almost unfathomable by today's standards.
Today's philosophy states "Live, and let live". We each do what we think is right, and leave each other alone for fear of seeming judgmental or hypocritical. This idea is brought out all too clearly in reading The God Factor - every interviewee has their own concept of spirituality, sometimes even choosing parts of different faiths and religions to create a sort of 'fusion faith'. Everybody claims there's no absolute anymore. It seems that people do realize their own corruption, and are just trying to cling to whatever bits of faith they can, to be at peace with themselves - or, to put it in Corgan's words, to figure out how to get off the cross.
If we were to switch to a 'group consciousness' mindset, what would that look like? My guess is, edifying and rebuking one another in love - and in doing so, realizing that there are some absolutes in life - and making the world a better place. There's been a tremendous shift towards the latter in recent years especially with lots of public icons taking on philanthropy as a hobby, which is fantastic, and which I've had the privilege of dabbling in. I guess I just need to be more conscious of being more of a giver than a taker, both spiritually and otherwise.
- Billy Corgan
In my life I often feel like I'm standing at a crossroads where independent Western culture meets traditional, interdependent Chinese values. I just found it interesting that Billy Corgan mentioned the way culture influences spirituality, which I hadn't really stopped to think about before. Being raised in the West, in Canada, in Toronto - where multiculturalism is freely celebrated - I think my values encompass a decent and dynamic balance of capitalism and socialism. When it comes to my faith though, I think I really do have a 'solo consciousness'. I get fixated on blemishes and guilt in my past; I try to discern my own spiritual gifts so I can serve most effectively; I read books and do devotions to establish my own position on issues that I think matter. Somewhere along the way, the importance of church and community diminished. I do think that going to church and having a network of support are valuable, but again, mostly for my own benefit: I go to church to have my mind broadened with others' opinions and knowledge, and I seek fellowship for companionship and encouragement.
The story of Achan is one that has always stuck with me, perhaps because I wrestle with the idea of fairness, that everyone should suffer for the wrongdoing of one person. Back in Old Testament times, if one person messed up, the whole tribe or even the whole nation would face something terrible - loss in a war, natural disaster, famine, or the like. It emphasizes a sort of unity within a family or group that is almost unfathomable by today's standards.
Today's philosophy states "Live, and let live". We each do what we think is right, and leave each other alone for fear of seeming judgmental or hypocritical. This idea is brought out all too clearly in reading The God Factor - every interviewee has their own concept of spirituality, sometimes even choosing parts of different faiths and religions to create a sort of 'fusion faith'. Everybody claims there's no absolute anymore. It seems that people do realize their own corruption, and are just trying to cling to whatever bits of faith they can, to be at peace with themselves - or, to put it in Corgan's words, to figure out how to get off the cross.
If we were to switch to a 'group consciousness' mindset, what would that look like? My guess is, edifying and rebuking one another in love - and in doing so, realizing that there are some absolutes in life - and making the world a better place. There's been a tremendous shift towards the latter in recent years especially with lots of public icons taking on philanthropy as a hobby, which is fantastic, and which I've had the privilege of dabbling in. I guess I just need to be more conscious of being more of a giver than a taker, both spiritually and otherwise.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Everybody's got a story.
Now who can read the mind of the red-headed girl next door, or the taxi driver who just dropped you off, or the classmate that you ignore? Don't assume everything on the surface is what you see, 'cause that classmate just lost her mother, and that taxi-driver's got a Ph.D. I'm so tired of the fear that weighs us down with wrong assumptions of broken hearts and natural function. [You] See my eyes, [but] don't see what I see; [you could] touch my tongue, [but you] don't know what tastes good to me. It's the human condition that keeps us apart. Everybody's got a story that could break your heart.
- Amanda Marshall, Everybody's Got A Story
I love Amanda Marshall, most immediately for her soulful voice, but also for her esoteric lyrics and pouffy hair. Everybody's Got A Story is one of my favourite songs because when I think I've got everything and everybody figured out, it brings me back to the place of realizing how little we all as humans are able to comprehend about one another.
One thing I admire greatly about the youth I've met at Evergreen is their openness and honesty. They have nothing to hide, so they easily (and sometimes too gladly) share the intimate details and goings-on in their lives. They'll tell you exactly how they ended up in the shelter system, or what they think and feel about so-and-so, and so forth.
Amongst the rest of society, emotion just seems so muted in comparison. Less drama is probably a good thing, but there's also a diminution of passion. There's a lot of pussyfooting around, trying not to say something politically incorrect, or offend anybody. It becomes difficult for people to open themselves up to one another or say what they really think or feel.
When I finally have a breakthrough moment over taboo or complacency, I relish the feeling of learning something intimate and new about my friends, and the feeling of added strength to the foundation of relationships. It makes me marvel at what a loving God we have, who already knows all the intimate details of each of our lives, and and still tries hard to get us to open up to Him.
* * *
Over the weekend I started reading a book called The God Factor. It's a collection of interviews between the author, a religion journalist named Cathleen Falsani, and a celebrity or public figureheads on the topic of spirituality and how it affects their lives/work/art. In the media, many causes like to use celebrities as their poster-people and advocates, religion being no exception. So Falsani gets to the root of these people's beliefs, and gets beyond the labels of what faith they claim to follow. I've so far finished three chapters: interviews with Bono, who grew up in the Church of Ireland and is awed by the fact that the "force of love and logic behind the universe... would choose to describe itself as a baby born in sh*t and straw and poverty"; Hugh Hefner, who describes himself as "a pretty moral guy" and claims that the meaning of life and highest moral value is love; and Sandra Bernhard, a devout follower of Kabbalah who reportedly introduced Madonna to the mystical branch of Judaism.
So far, so good. It's interesting to find out more about people's perspectives on spirituality, especially for those who help to shape or define culture during their lives. It's not a book from which to learn values or theology, but it's a good prompt to get yourself thinking about what you do believe, and a way to gain insight into today's varied schools of thought. Especially if one has grown up in the Church, it is hard to understand how others who didn't, view spirituality and religion.
- Amanda Marshall, Everybody's Got A Story
I love Amanda Marshall, most immediately for her soulful voice, but also for her esoteric lyrics and pouffy hair. Everybody's Got A Story is one of my favourite songs because when I think I've got everything and everybody figured out, it brings me back to the place of realizing how little we all as humans are able to comprehend about one another.
One thing I admire greatly about the youth I've met at Evergreen is their openness and honesty. They have nothing to hide, so they easily (and sometimes too gladly) share the intimate details and goings-on in their lives. They'll tell you exactly how they ended up in the shelter system, or what they think and feel about so-and-so, and so forth.
Amongst the rest of society, emotion just seems so muted in comparison. Less drama is probably a good thing, but there's also a diminution of passion. There's a lot of pussyfooting around, trying not to say something politically incorrect, or offend anybody. It becomes difficult for people to open themselves up to one another or say what they really think or feel.
When I finally have a breakthrough moment over taboo or complacency, I relish the feeling of learning something intimate and new about my friends, and the feeling of added strength to the foundation of relationships. It makes me marvel at what a loving God we have, who already knows all the intimate details of each of our lives, and and still tries hard to get us to open up to Him.
* * *
Over the weekend I started reading a book called The God Factor. It's a collection of interviews between the author, a religion journalist named Cathleen Falsani, and a celebrity or public figureheads on the topic of spirituality and how it affects their lives/work/art. In the media, many causes like to use celebrities as their poster-people and advocates, religion being no exception. So Falsani gets to the root of these people's beliefs, and gets beyond the labels of what faith they claim to follow. I've so far finished three chapters: interviews with Bono, who grew up in the Church of Ireland and is awed by the fact that the "force of love and logic behind the universe... would choose to describe itself as a baby born in sh*t and straw and poverty"; Hugh Hefner, who describes himself as "a pretty moral guy" and claims that the meaning of life and highest moral value is love; and Sandra Bernhard, a devout follower of Kabbalah who reportedly introduced Madonna to the mystical branch of Judaism.
So far, so good. It's interesting to find out more about people's perspectives on spirituality, especially for those who help to shape or define culture during their lives. It's not a book from which to learn values or theology, but it's a good prompt to get yourself thinking about what you do believe, and a way to gain insight into today's varied schools of thought. Especially if one has grown up in the Church, it is hard to understand how others who didn't, view spirituality and religion.
Friday, August 03, 2007
sooo sad :(
I had lunch and went shopping with Monica and Bobo today, since we all didn't have to work. We ended up in the huge Winners at Bay & Bloor, just poking around until they had to take off for a work barbecue. I was digging through the shoes, and I usually end up just trying on most shoes that I see, even if they don't look extremely appealing at first glance. One pair that I tried today was a faux animal print flat - white, with small black leopard-esque spots, and with a ribbon tied into a bow. The right shoe was significantly more scuffed up than the left, the spots looked more brown than black. I thought it looked a little funny, but seeing as they were only $14, I thought that I might take a chance on them because they were cute, and they might end up equally scuffed in the end anyway. Upon closer inspection though, the price turned out to be $74.00, not $14.00!! I hate when that happens.
how quickly tables turn.
It's incredible how quickly things can go from great to crappy. Everything will be going great one minute, and then something or somebody will just bring it all toppling down, the next. That happened three times today. What. A. Day.
First, summer team all went to Esther's house for breakfast this morning; we had fruit, bacon, and blueberry pancakes while sitting in a backyard teeming with overgrown Jumanji-esque vegetation. That afternoon when we went to work, L was back from vacation, but there's a new nurse who's really sweet and nice to help out. L did her pill counting routine in a little room by herself for most of the day, which was fine by me. It wasn't until about 4:20, when people are flooding in right before closing time, that she decided to appear in the waiting room and be entirely unhelpful. Instead of helping the youth be seen or get what they need so they can get out of here and we can close, she decided to lecture them about coming earlier because we're going to close. She also stopped me in the middle of what I was doing, to ask what I was doing. So after I spent about a minute explaining it to her, she just... raised her eyebrows, and made some random grunting noise of acknowledgment. That's real productive... I love work, but I just can't stand her.
After work I was able to calm myself down a bit because I was hanging out with Jo and Chris. We ate chicken, potato wedges and salad, and planned to go out and buy 300. On our way out the door, we also decided to go get some ice cream! When we got to Dominion's, we found that a lot of the ice cream was on sale, so we bought three tubs and headed back, excited to watch the movie and pig out. Not long after we scooped ice cream and popped the movie in, though, a strange beeping noise started in Jo's apartment. We ignored it for as long as we could, but we eventually decided that it was the fire alarm and we should evacuate. Joanna lives on the 40th floor. We got all the way down to the 14th floor, extremely dizzy, when the fire alarm stopped. So we decided to walk back up rather than wait for the elevators to start working again. Well.. when we got back up, all sweaty and exhausted, we found that the stairwell door was locked and we couldn't get back up to her floor! We had to sit on the 39th floor and wait until the elevator started up again. My legs were all jelly-ish... I couldn't wait for another bowl of ice-cream to replace the calories I'd just burned.
We ended up watching the movie, and I left around 10:30 to go back home. I had felt a little bad about not coming home for supper tonight because I came home late for the past couple of nights, and hadn't spent a lot of time with my family lately. When I got back, my sister told me that my parents had gone to the airport to pick up my grandma. So I went to check my email and what not... Soon afterwards, my parents came back, and then almost immediately my mom was telling my sister and myself to wash the dishes and hang up the laundry. I took a bunch of towels from the machine and hung them in the basement, and on my way back upstairs, I stopped to check my messages. Almost immediately, my sister starts yelling at me for not helping. I snapped something back about that I'd already done some of the laundry, and she started nitpicking about how much I'd done, or that I didn't help do the dishes... anyway, it was just so retarded because there will be other times where I do the dishes or whatever by myself. It's such a stupid thing to fight about, because there'll always be times that either one of us has to do more or less of the chores. All of a sudden I wasn't even glad to be home anymore.
Anyway, that was my rollercoaster of a day. Tomorrow I have the day off, so I hope it's less dramatic.
First, summer team all went to Esther's house for breakfast this morning; we had fruit, bacon, and blueberry pancakes while sitting in a backyard teeming with overgrown Jumanji-esque vegetation. That afternoon when we went to work, L was back from vacation, but there's a new nurse who's really sweet and nice to help out. L did her pill counting routine in a little room by herself for most of the day, which was fine by me. It wasn't until about 4:20, when people are flooding in right before closing time, that she decided to appear in the waiting room and be entirely unhelpful. Instead of helping the youth be seen or get what they need so they can get out of here and we can close, she decided to lecture them about coming earlier because we're going to close. She also stopped me in the middle of what I was doing, to ask what I was doing. So after I spent about a minute explaining it to her, she just... raised her eyebrows, and made some random grunting noise of acknowledgment. That's real productive... I love work, but I just can't stand her.
After work I was able to calm myself down a bit because I was hanging out with Jo and Chris. We ate chicken, potato wedges and salad, and planned to go out and buy 300. On our way out the door, we also decided to go get some ice cream! When we got to Dominion's, we found that a lot of the ice cream was on sale, so we bought three tubs and headed back, excited to watch the movie and pig out. Not long after we scooped ice cream and popped the movie in, though, a strange beeping noise started in Jo's apartment. We ignored it for as long as we could, but we eventually decided that it was the fire alarm and we should evacuate. Joanna lives on the 40th floor. We got all the way down to the 14th floor, extremely dizzy, when the fire alarm stopped. So we decided to walk back up rather than wait for the elevators to start working again. Well.. when we got back up, all sweaty and exhausted, we found that the stairwell door was locked and we couldn't get back up to her floor! We had to sit on the 39th floor and wait until the elevator started up again. My legs were all jelly-ish... I couldn't wait for another bowl of ice-cream to replace the calories I'd just burned.
We ended up watching the movie, and I left around 10:30 to go back home. I had felt a little bad about not coming home for supper tonight because I came home late for the past couple of nights, and hadn't spent a lot of time with my family lately. When I got back, my sister told me that my parents had gone to the airport to pick up my grandma. So I went to check my email and what not... Soon afterwards, my parents came back, and then almost immediately my mom was telling my sister and myself to wash the dishes and hang up the laundry. I took a bunch of towels from the machine and hung them in the basement, and on my way back upstairs, I stopped to check my messages. Almost immediately, my sister starts yelling at me for not helping. I snapped something back about that I'd already done some of the laundry, and she started nitpicking about how much I'd done, or that I didn't help do the dishes... anyway, it was just so retarded because there will be other times where I do the dishes or whatever by myself. It's such a stupid thing to fight about, because there'll always be times that either one of us has to do more or less of the chores. All of a sudden I wasn't even glad to be home anymore.
Anyway, that was my rollercoaster of a day. Tomorrow I have the day off, so I hope it's less dramatic.
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