it's been three full weeks of being back home in toronto. three luxurious and frustrating weeks. i am loving that i get to sleep in, and eat whenever i want to, and go for walks. i really miss kimmy though.. going for walks with her and watching her plod around the hallway and sniff out where the treats are hidden.
i've applied to a ton of jobs and haven't gotten any callbacks yet, so i'm hoping and praying that they're just taking their sweet time going through resumes or something. in the meantime i'm spending time reading, cleaning, playing softball, and learning to cook/bake better. then in the evenings when my friends are done work, we can all go out and play. yesterday emzhei, olivia and i went to salad king for supper and did some shopping. liv bought a pair of spiffy aviators and a black tanktop with small polkadots that's almost avril-lavigne-esque. i got a red tote and new shades as well. emzhei bought a fabulous brown halter dress from rw&co, which she is going to debut at this year's monte carlo night.
in another three weeks i'll find out if i'm accepted to waterloo's optometry school. i really would like to get in, and i think this past term went well enough to still give me a fighting chance, so hopefully i'll have some good news to share in june. and after i find out what school i'm going to in september, i have to figure out where to live... my life is actually sort of in shambles at the moment. but it's sort of fun just not worrying or having to think about it, because right now, there is nothing i can do but wait.
tomorrow is my cousin caleb's 25th birthday. what is it with people and the fear of getting older? i guess it marks .. well, just the fact that we dont get any younger. things that come with age, hm... more change, more important decisions to make, more responsibility, decline in physical things like endurance or strength or recovery. things change as we get older, that's just the way life is. things are very different back here at home, from how i remembered them to be. there are lots of people at church that are new to me. my parents are always working, which was never the case before my sister and i went away to university. they dont even seem to have time for proper meals; my mom's very pleased in my new interest in cooking because it means she gets to eat homecooked food. my cousin drives michelle - who is now 16 but looks 19 - around now, buying her things and giving her advice on boys. the sens are still in the playoffs, something i never thought or hoped would happen.
i'm surprised and mostly pleased with where i've come to at this point. i wasn't sure i'd ever be able to make a decision about my future, my career. i've got my foot in the door in chicago, and i'm actually very excited to start optometry school. it won't be easy. i still can't see myself wearing a white coat and examining people and giving valid prescriptions, but i'm sure that will all change as well, in time. i also have embraced many of my friends and family again, who i'd unconsciously and unfortunately pushed away for a bit... who i love, who love me, who grow with me, and who challenge me, maybe without their even knowing it.
it's gonna be a good summer.